Silence

I haven't blogged for a few days, hope I don't lose all my followers.I've been in a lot of "states" lately and I haven't felt like putting down much on paper. And the time thing got in the way too. Anyway, I write with a heavy heart this morning as my cardinal outside my classroom window has been gone since Monday. I was hoping to come in and see little heads peering up with open beaks, waiting to be fed, but ...nothing. No eggs, no birdies, no mom. The nest is empty. As it is in an enclosed courtyard, I can't imagine that an animal of prey would have gotten it. Kids don't normally have access to this part, as it is up on a raised bed in the corner, that surely their teacher would see them rummaging in the bushes.

So I wonder? Did mom just get overwhelmed and fly the coop? I did know of a mom that did that once to her three kids, never did understand that. As frustrated and exhausting as it is raising children at times, I cannot imagine abandoning them for selfish pleasures of my own. (Although at times I know I dreamed of it in my head- who hasn't, as a mom of multiple children? You now you have!)
Or did she build her nest and find out she was unable to lay eggs? The sorrow of a barren womb is another life tragedy, having seen couples go through it, though not experiencing it on a personal basis, I can only imagine the heartache. Is that why she left?

I guess I will never know the answer, just as I won't know the answers to many questions that I have , until I get to heaven. I know God is patient, he'll have to be as my list keeps getting longer each day.

The Hidden Nest

Outside my school window is the cardinal nest that I have written about. It is finally finished, and the momma bird has been sitting in it this morning. I stood on a chair to see if I could see eggs in the nest when she took a break, and there were none. But she was back later, sitting, peering into my window. I wanted to get a picture of the nest from outside, so I walked into the courtyard. This creature is ingenious! You cannot see the nest from the other side. It is totally hidden in the bush, in the very corner of the building. I had to step up on a ledge,on mulch,(apologies to our custodian) and pull down branches to even get a glimpse from that side. If I had not seen it from my window, it would remain undetected from the world.
Have you ever felt that way? Wanting to make a little space to be hidden, where you can see out on the world, but no one can see you? Amazing that God built into the smallest of living things that desire for survival and solitude. Even when the wind blew, the bush swayed, yet this little nest stood firm. It even had a plastic wrapper hanging out of the bottom. Amazing. I look forward to checking on my invisible friends each moring. I'll let you know when the eggs arrive. I hope before school is out!
Blessings!

Transparency

There is a pair of cardinals building a nest right outside my classroom window. The window doesn't open, but it does look out into a beautiful courtyard that is brimming with colorful flowers at this time of year. Enter a mama cardinal dragging pieces of straw, grass, whatever to make her nest. Daddy was out there helping too. The bush it is being built in is in the corner of the building, quite hidden from the tables and steps where children go out to sit and read when the weather permits. I'm sure these birds thought this was the perfect hiding place, where no one would see them and their new offspring once the eggs hatch.
However, I have a perfect view , separated by a thin piece of glass that allows me into their inner sanctum. I can even hear them chirping.I see their comings and goings. I have a perfect window into their lives.
It reminds me somehow of my relationship with God sometimes. I feel like I can hide in the bushes, where I can't be seen, doing my own thing, living in my own world. Yet He is there , inches away on the other side of the pane of eternity, me not hiding at all, but being in full view with my inner sanctum exposed. I can fly away, come back, and still be seen in open space.

Cardinals

The Cardinals are back.

This morning on the way to work in my “prayer canopy” ( the last stretch before school that is covered with trees where I turn off the radio and pray for the day), I saw a cardinal. This has always been a reassurance from God that He is in control and cares about what happens to me- I thanked him for that sign, and then saw another one right before I left the canopy! God is so amazing- encouraging us daily. Who can I encourage today? Who’s cardinal can I be?

I wrote this sometime last spring-but it continues to happen. Yesterday there were two HUGE cardinals flying back and forth in front of our house. I watched them soar from tree branch to tree top and circle around, and then repeat the pattern. Then walking the dog in the park, I saw more cardinals. They are out in full force. I guess God knows that I need that double, triple reassurance that He is there with me. Us. My husband's job situation and our finances.Our car situation. My kids and their individual needs. My students- oh my. My step-dad's health situation. My friends' burdens. A young widower with two young babies whose wife died in childbirth. I know God has already worked out all the answers to all these life-ings, in His timing, not mine. But my heart becomes heavy at times, particularly for others and their needs.

So I appreciate the cardinals and look for them each day.